Nobody ever told you the kinds of things that life can throw at you.
Slight correction…
They did, but could never help you truly resonate with the feeling of being broken down to inflection point until you actually entered such a difficult situation.
It happened when you were young, and will continue to happen until you're old—it’s something that can't be avoided, so you can understand the need to prepare for such events.
Now I don’t envy parents having to explain to their children why life can be a bit shit sometimes, but I know that it’s something to be endured and is a component of a successful, wholesome human being.
I’ve tackled life challenges before, many of them insignificant while the very few shook me, broke me down, and punched right into my core. Most recently, I’ve been facing one of those moments—nothing quite like this has happened before. Noticing the onset of such a difficult period is in fact the key to managing it. I’ve been transparent with myself about this particular thing, and my desired action was written in stone almost 18 months ago.
18 months…
My partner put this into perspective for me. Not only had I spent that time meandering the different possibilities to make the change I so desperately want, but I’ve also impacted others in the process.
I’m talking about the constant deliberation between whether I do the thing or continue to endure the pressure and stress that I face right now, only to project that pain onto others or keep it all inside and let my body and mind crumble from the inside.
How is it that I’m still able to keep moving yet feel like I’m standing still?
Recognising progress and seeing potential
Reflection. That’s what I’m doing here. It’s what I’ve done for a long time now.
I realised fairly recently that, although writing down my thoughts, stresses and worries was a chore way back when, it’s resonating with my current self now more than ever.
In times like these where the struggle gets to it peak, I find this helps me avoid a few things:
Sitting and dwelling so much only to make zero progress in my thought processes, let alone my actions
Projecting my stresses and angers onto my loved ones (albeit friends or family) who, so I realise, can often stress about the inability to make problems go away
Getting sloppy. Losing confidence to the point where my space and my approach to everything become very messy
What I learned from writing things down at the exact moment they happened is the true extent of my worries. I can assess my response in that very moment to determine why I felt that way and instantly bring my mind to focus on the more important thing—overcoming that hurdle.
Message from Tom:
I’m no longer worried about where these thoughts and opinions end up. If it’s on the internet, then it’s free rein. But, if you’re getting something from this type of content and you want to connect and share your thoughts, stresses, concerns about what life has thrown at you, I’d like to think this is a safe space to do it.
Leave a comment if you’ve enjoyed this or you just simply want to share your thoughts.
I never learned to write down my thoughts
I know what you’re thinking… “what is he on about?”
I’m serious about this. Nobody ever really teaches you productive journalling. It’s a superpower that can pull you out of a self-deprecating state or, in more of a long-term fashion, support you when a life challenge comes along.
In this difficult period, I found myself wanting to refer back to my notes—unlock insights into the person I used to be—to help me change my current perspective.
The MindJournal really helped me with this. Although I’ve been writing things down for some time, working with a MindJournal helped me (and my partner) to simplify the process. If I’m not sure what to write, I’m prompted with questions, queries, hacks and tricks that act as the key to unlocking my mind in that moment.
If you’re facing a challenge in the present, you’ll likely experience something similar in the future.
Let your future self know how far they’ve come.
Great read!